I want to start off by saying this...The reason I am telling my story is to testify, show and tell how good God is and has been in my life. This is not for me to in any way gain ANY type of popularity but to show women that through Jesus Christ you too can be victorious.
I choose to write the topic: "I had an abortion....A triumph story" because the word triumph means: the act, fact, or condition of being victorious or triumphant; victory; conquest. A significant success or noteworthy achievement; instance or occasion of victory.
In this part of my life, story that I'm about to tell you, the enemy meant for this situation in my life to defeat me but God worked it out for my good.
"We are assured and know that God being a partner in their labor all things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to [His] design and purpose."
Here goes the story:
It started when I had my twins at an early age I was about 20 or 21 when I got pregnant, I was going to college, working, I had my own place and everything but I made some decisions to get to where I am now at this point in my life, pregnant with nothing. My husband (now) but not at the time, we were not married, we decided to work things out, live together and start a life.
My husband at the time was deploying A LOT and at times I was left by my self with the kids. At one point I got pregnant again and I was not very happy. I had a strong desire to go back to school, work, save, eventually start my own business, I felt I wasn't going to do those things pregnant with now 3 children. My twins wasn't even 1yrs old yet old at the time.
So I made plans to get an abortion. In my mindset at the time, I felt like this was the answer to ALL my problems and I felt motivated to go do it. So I made plans to get an abortion....And I did it. my husband was very much against this but at the time I didn't care, I felt he was going on deployments, getting a break from everything that was happening, so in my eyes his opinion didn't mean anything to me. I knew abortion was wrong but at the time I didn't care because I wanted out of my situation, I was motivated to take care of the situation and I did.
Not realizing the turmoil, shame, embarrassment, low self esteem, emotional, spiritual and physical damage it does to you as a person.
After getting the abortion, my husband and I started going to church. As I started attending I would come across women that were just hurt from so much pain of trying to have a child, explaining the pain they felt from having miscarriages, they would ask for prayer and the enemy had a Field day every time I came across this. I even was friends with a girl that was trying to have children and I walk through this with her and the enemy would, through the abortion I had, throw it in my face, making me feel even worse about my self, but attending church and getting the word of God in my life help me to defeat the enemy thoughts but I still had that longing to talk about it.
How do you talk about that kind of pain? How do you say to someone that you were happy to get that abortion? That you were relieved afterwards? How do you express that to someone? How do you be honest with yourself when even the word abortion makes people angry?
Well, my pastor at the time had a women from an organization called: The Beaufort Women's Center, which is a christian based program and she began to talk about the different programs they offer and one of them was called the abortion recovery program, where you get to talk about your experience and learn how much God loves you and forgives you.
I took this class and I believe its about a 5 week course, not exactly sure how long it was, but it's a few weeks and I was so blessed by the other women telling their stories and how much God has done in their lives. I learned to even be honest about how I felt in that program, it has given me the boldness and courage to even talk about my experience.
I even shared with someone my experience and this person said to me: "but don't you realize what you have done?" I didn't catch an attitude or even get mad but I explained to her that God has healed me in that area and forgiven me. I don't live in condemnation AT ALL! I do regret doing it because of what I know now but at the time you go off of what you know. That old saying is true: "When you know better you do better!"
NOW....God has blessed me with an education, a degree, restore my relationship with my husband, I own my own business, Currently I am pregnant and VERY HAPPY! I am enjoying EVERY single moment that I am pregnant, I have a relationship with God, I know without a shadow of doubt that God LOVES me, He has forgiven me, I have peace in my heart, that is what God has done in my life and I want to be able to share that with other women who has been in the same situation. You don't have to walk around with this in the back of your head because its doing more damge to you then anything else. God wants to heal you, Why would God create you and leave you walking around in hurt and pain, He doesn't! He wants to heal you and He is there to help you.
If you don't have a relationship with Jesus christ that is one step you need to take. Everything that I have describe, in order to get the benefits you need to have a relationship with the Jesus Christ, thats step 1. Step 2 is after that you need to get involved in a bible based church, that talks about the word of God. Step 3 After finding a good bible based church, you need to get involved, working in the church is not THE answer but these are the steps that has helped me, And after doing all these things watch how God transforms your life!
I pray this has blessed you, because just being able to tell my story has truly blessed me!